Tag Archives: exegetical profanity

Needlework for pirates

Having duly recovered from our Radical Crafternoon, I shall now blog as follows:

The skill levels of our Crafternoons are going WAY UP. I had very little teaching to do – people just rocked up and started stitching Radical Cross Stitch designs, or crocheting seaweed, or knitting crazy rainbow things. It was awesome. I do love showing people how to do new things, and there was a little bit of that going on, but mostly I had plenty of time to get on with other things.

Like this:

And all of these:

Clearly, I have been having a great deal of fun with our new badge machine, our scrap fabric, old pattern books and AIDA offcuts. I really am paticularly keen on the “skull-and-cross-needles” badges, adapted from this Anticraft pattern.

Also, I would like to say thanks to the guys from Format’s Hackerspace.  They were busy deconstructing the universe in the basement while we Crafternooned, but kindly took time out to help me carry brown vinyl chairs and green velvet sofas up a flight of stairs. All in a day’s work for your friendly neighborhood hackers.

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In other news, there’s a new phat quarter swap in town! I really do love swaps, because I work so much faster with a deadline. (As opposed to the next exegetical profanity, which has been a work-in-progress since about June. It is progressing, though!) This one is movie-themed, and I’m quite excited by the design I’ve knocked up – it’s totally different from anything I’ve stitched before, and I’ll get to play with interesting variegated threads. Stay tuned, movie buffs.


Posted by on August 4, 2010 in Craftiness, Deviousness


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an antidote to terseness, or, what I’m doing when I’m not making things

I’ve realised that my posts recently have been pretty terse, and I think I want to try verbiage instead.

You know, in lieu of actual craft, since I have no beautiful pictures at the moment. (If you would like pictures, please scroll down. There are lots. Many of them are pretty.)

I do have a lot of works-in-progress, though. Like, waaay too many. I’m knitting a scarf that I started last September, and I’m still halfway through knitting a bamboo/silk camisole. I honestly don’t know where that pattern for that has gone. I’ve got a knit-graffiti tag to be finished, and ‘finished’ can only be defined once I work out where it’s going to end up. On top of all this I am foolishly trying to start a lace hood/cowl thing with my cloud yarn. And I still have a scarf on my loom, which will remain unwoven for now, because I was dumb enough to think that using two kinds of feathers yarn was a good idea. Yeah, no.

There’s also a bunch of cross-stitches that I want to design and make. I’ve got some Bloody Shakespeare ideas that are waiting on art from my awesome artist friends. I also have plans for more NSFW Exegetical Profanity – “FUCK” is definitely the next one, though I’m torn on what the third should be. Four letters, definitely, but I just can’t decide.

There will also, at some point, be a piece of embroidery that asks one of life’s ultimate questions – “where do all the calculators go?”. This will happen just as soon as I design a decent-looking halo-wearing cross-stitch calculator.

I also have a design ready-to-roll, which I want to cross-stitch soon: ‘viva la stitch’, which needs to be ready for the crafternoon’s exciting tour schedule. Thinking of which, I need to co-ordinate and plan for the crafternoon’s exciting tour schedule. July is going to be a MAD MAD MAD month. We’re going down to Flinders Uni for the Students of Sustainability conference (fingers crossed), which totally counts as touring since it takes me two hours and three busses to get there. We’re then heading to Murray Bridge with Format Festival, which will involve hardcore crafternooners sitting around, plotting the radicalisation of rural South Australia’s crafting community. CWA? HTFU.

And THEN we’re going to have a crafternoon. Because there really wasn’t enough going on.

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Anyway, I had a really cool moment today. I was out shopping (for lace-up boots with NO FUCKING ZIP! Is that too much to ask? Really? Well, it would appear so.) and stopped into the bakery for lunch. The girl behind the counter said I looked familiar – I sort of recognised her as well, but I could not remember how we knew each other. I live in Adelaide, so stuff like this happens to me on a regular basis, especially since  I’m fairly rubbish at recognising people out of context. The girl at the bakery clearly has no such impairment, however, because she then said, “you’re the crafternoon lady, right?”

Random craft-related recognition! Followed by random craft conversation in bakery, where I found out that one of my “I (heart) zombies” patterns not only got finished, but gifted to a sister. Which is very cool.

This conversation completely made my day.

(Even though I wasted four hours looking for a still-elusive pair of lace-up boots.)

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I just realised that, despite my avowed aim of reducing terseness, I’ve written over 500 words of increasingly terse prose. Note to self: remember to use more conjunctions and pronouns, and stop slipping into the imperative voice. Oh. Damn.

Writing ditsy teenage dialogue is messing with my prose.


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Posted by on June 1, 2010 in Deviousness


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I didn’t really realise how many frames I was buying

One day, I went op-shopping for some frames to put my finished embroidery in, and I came home with a handful. However, it then became known that I was looking for second-hand frames; in my family, a quest like this quickly becomes contagious. My Mum picked up a few each time she passed by a thrift shop; my Grandma pitched in with several frames from far-flung antique stores.

And so it went, until one day I stopped and looked at what had been wrought.

And I thought: This is so awesome!

This is only a portion of the total frames; there are others that already have actual things in them, including all my Mothers’ Day presents and some other random stitchery.

Some of these are already earmarked for big things – the oval with the panda will end up with more exegetical profanity, and a number of the golden ones are destined for my bloody shakespeare series.

However, there are a couple of other frames that I want to custom-stitch for – the burgundy velvet triptych frame especially. I’m just not sure what, exactly. Anyone have any bright ideas?

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Posted by on May 23, 2010 in Craftiness, Deviousness


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I’m pretty sure this counts as NSFW

There are a couple of motivations behind this bit of stitchery.

Firstly, I wanted to stitch some profanity. Well, actually, just more profanity, since I’ve stitched the word “fuck” many times now. BUT, people seem really inured to that word now. Small children shout it in the streets. Whereas the word I’ve stitched – well, for a lot of people, it’s still well beyond the pale.

Secondly, I wanted to stitch something that would provoke wildly different reactions in people. This has, on the whole, worked. So far I’ve had a whole range of reactions; everything from awkward silence, nervous giggling and conservative nostril-flaring, right through to flat-out laughter and requests for the pattern. I count this as a success.

Thirdly, I wanted to use some of the fabulous yet way-too-large fonts from the antique pattern library. They really are too huge for anything except four-letter words – the finished stitchery is 9 inches wide.

And lastly, I wanted to do some feminist-style word reclamation. I’m no Germaine Greer, but when I found this elegant, swirly, girly font, I couldn’t resist. Because really, if any word should be girly, it’s this one.


So please – share your reactions!

(As a side note, this is also my first serious attempt at framing my embroidery. I think it went rather well, all things considered – especially the fact that the frame only cost me $2, and I have another two that match. Op-shopping crafty bits is certainly the way to go!)


Posted by on April 30, 2010 in Craftiness


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