Embroidered musings on the evils of vegemite

13 Sep

I have a confession to make. As an Australian, I am a failure and a lie. The reason? I do not understand Vegemite. It is not excellent, it is not amazing. It is a black pit of terror and doom which should never come into contact with my breakfast. To foist it on unsuspecting tourists as a cultural delicacy has always seemed to me to be the worst kind of cruelty. Vegemite tastes terrible.

Having thus outed myself to the scorn and derision of my fellow countrymen, I shall continue:

When faced with the recent Phat Quarter food-themed swap, I was totally stumped for ideas, so I asked my partner what foods she favored. In amongst the list of foods I received, she mentioned that she was particularly glad to be getting a piece from Australia. Accordingly, I decided to stitch something particularly Australian. (Or should that be UnAustralian?)

This piece was inspired by the Amanda Palmer song Vegemite (The Black Death). It’s a beautiful love song, in which the protagonist declaims that she will “refuse to touch or kiss you for a week if you insist on putting that foul death paste in your mouth”. I empathise.

Originally, I designed this piece to be cross-stitched. However, I soon realised that if this piece was done in  cross-stitch, I would be able to hear the deadline whooshing past before I even changed colours. Instead I used the pattern I’d charted to create templates for felt shapes – much more sensible for large blocks of colour!

If anyone would like to make their own anti-vegemite statement, I’ve uploaded the cross-stitch chart to my free patterns page. If you too feel that cross-stitching it would be excessive, just cut along the colour border lines to create handy templates.


Posted by on September 13, 2011 in Craftiness


Tags: , , , ,

4 responses to “Embroidered musings on the evils of vegemite

  1. chrisalee

    September 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Oh my gosh ! As a transplant into the Aussie culture via wedding to an Aussie I empathize, hell, I SYMPATHIZE with that song and I adore your Vegemite Black Death piece. Thanking you so much for offering the pattern. I must get that up and on my wall…in fact, maybe I’ll do a buncha them and hang them ALL over the house as a kinda subliminal message to my sweetie.

  2. dishevelledmind

    September 13, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    as a fellow Aussie I too have a confession, while I love Vegemite, I don’t like beer, sports, the sun or going to the beach……I know, but I have learned to live with the shame

    On a side note, my other half is British, and while he loves Marmite, I think of it the same as you think of Vegemite. So I thinks I may have to use your idea to make him a cheeky Christmas gift ;)

  3. michellethreefold

    September 14, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Yeah, I hate vegemite and all forms of sport – FAIL! :P
    Nice work!

  4. Kirra L

    October 21, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I love Amanda Palmer and Vegemite :)


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